"Sigh, serving at the Celestial Court is truly too difficult."
Inside the Yue Lao Hall, a thin elder in bright red wedding robes sat in his armchair, drinking tea sent by his attendants, and wiped the hot sweat from his forehead.
Just now, he had just managed to send away a celestial general who insisted on having him arrange a match with a fairy from the Jade Pool.
Could such a match be made casually?
Even though he was the Matchmaker, he couldn't just alter people's destinies at will.
Although there were indeed many underhanded ways to do it, it also depended on who was being matched!
The Matchmaker had expended considerable effort to dismiss that celestial general, and he was drenched in sweat.
To refuse, yet not make the other party displeased, and not offend the one being pursued...
Being the Matchmaker was truly too difficult.
Most marriages were self-formed, while a small portion were heaven-bestowed.
As the Matchmaker, he did have some authority to change things, but that Golden Scissors and those Red Strings of Fate were Heavenly Dao Merit Treasures, truly not to be moved casually!
Even if it was just a marriage between mortals, if handled improperly, he would not only lose his hard-earned Merit, but would also be punished by the diligent and motivated Jade Emperor...
What were self-formed marriages?
In the rear hall, there was a near-infinite mystical cosmos filled with countless clay figurines. For every being that needed marriage, every one included in the Three Marriage Fates of Heaven, Earth, and Humanity, there was a corresponding clay figurine here.
Marriage was the foundation of rites and the cornerstone of morality.
The beings represented by the clay figurines were mostly humans, along with a small number of orderly Demon Race and Witch Race members;
When they interacted in the mortal world, the clay figurines here would draw closer to each other, and then each would give birth to Red Strings of Fate. The red strings would intertwine, and that was how a marriage was formed.
Love that grew over time was when their red strings slowly swayed and gradually entangled;
Love at first sight was when they barely touched and the red strings already entwined.
Occasionally, a clay figurine would drift in the wrong direction, and its red string would tangle with another's marriage string — that naturally meant adultery in marriage...
What was heaven-bestowed marriage?
When a being was born, this place would sense it and create a clay figurine that was already entwined with the Red String of Fate of their destined partner. This was a heaven-bestowed marriage.
Besides that, there were also some clay figurines that were 'carefree' by nature. They would break free from their own Red String of Fate, dragging a half-broken string as they flew about wildly.
Occasionally encountering another figurine in the same situation, the red strings would touch — a blaze of passion; the red strings would break — a fleeting affair.
The celestial general's request just now, for the Matchmaker, wasn't actually that difficult to accomplish.
He just needed to tie the general's red string directly to that fairy, and it would count as a marriage. Generally, there wouldn't be any karmic backlash.
But the Matchmaker had to consider the fairy from the Jade Pool's background.
Hundreds of years ago, the Queen Mother of the West had already sent someone to reprimand him. Now, he absolutely dared not do such rule-breaking things to the fairies of the Jade Pool...
The Matchmaker had originally been merely a Heavenly Immortal cultivator, but he was among the first batch of immortals to join the new Celestial Court. His background was clean, and he worked diligently. Ten thousand years ago, he had been granted the position of Matchmaker by the Jade Emperor.
Having served for over ten thousand years, the Matchmaker had come to appreciate the many benefits of this immortal position. He had been ever-vigilant, not daring to slack off even slightly.
But the problem was, nowadays, more and more celestial beings in the court had learned the secret of the Red Strings, and knew that he, as the Matchmaker, could alter them.
His little Marriage Hall had people sneaking in from time to time...
Some were colleagues in the same hall, and he truly couldn't afford to offend them;
And some thought they could gain marriages through gift-giving, but the Matchmaker refused them all... What gift could possibly outweigh the Merit rewards from serving at the Celestial Court?
But there was another type of situation where the Matchmaker could not and dared not refuse — those immensely powerful elders with unshakeable backgrounds. In front of such big shots, his divine position was merely that of a minor deity. For example...
"Master!"
Outside the hall, two attendants with pigtails, dressed in very festive attire, rushed in hurriedly, calling out:
"The Grand Master is here! He's almost at the front of the hall!"
The Matchmaker's spirits lifted immediately. He rose quickly and hurried toward the front of the hall to greet him.
This Grand Master was no ordinary figure — the only direct disciple of the Saint of Grand Purity, leader of the Human Sect, with cultivation of unfathomable depth, and behind him stood the Grand Pure One himself!
Because the Grand Pure One was the eldest among the Three Pure Ones, even though this Grand Master had entered that small courtyard in Mount Kunlun later than others, he was respectfully addressed as 'Senior Brother' by Guangchengzi, the first disciple of the Chan Teaching who struck the golden bell in the Jade Void Palace, and by Daobist Duobao, the eldest disciple of the Jie Teaching.
The true eldest brother of the Daoist sects.
The Grand Master did not have a clear Daoist Name, as the Saint of Grand Purity had not bestowed one upon him, to avoid him taking on great karmic burdens;
Because he was called 'Grand Master' in the [Xuandu] domain governed by the Saint of Grand Purity, over time this powerful figure had come to accept this title —
Grand Master Xuandu!
And from then on, the two characters 'Xuandu' could refer to this first disciple of the Human Sect, and also had the meaning of a 'place name.'
The Matchmaker's mind was perfectly clear — this first disciple of the Human Sect was on an entirely different level from the Saint of Grand Purity's several nominal disciples!
Because the Celestial Court had just been established and its strength was still weak, Grand Master Xuandu had been temporarily residing in the Tushita Palace these past days...
After all, if some Daluo or Golden Immortal level troublemakers came to cause problems at the Celestial Court, it wouldn't be appropriate for a Saint to act personally. Having Xuandu handle them would suffice.
On several occasions, this Grand Master had visited the Matchmaker's doorstep. The Matchmaker naturally understood what business he had come for.
The Matchmaker hurried out of the hall and looked up to see a young Daoist approaching on a cloud not far away.
This person wore a dark Daoist robe. His features were neither remarkable nor plain, but thoroughly proper and upright.
He stood tall like a crane, his Daoist robe fluttering lightly. He wore no jade ornaments or accessories whatsoever, yet gave one a feeling of returning to the essence, like uncarved jade — the bearing that only came from extremely profound cultivation.
It was said that Grand Master Xuandu was among the first generation of humans between heaven and earth, born without parents, molded from clay by the Goddess Nüwa. He possessed a sliver of the Merit from creating humanity, and also carried the fortune of the Human Sect.
Before he even reached the front of the hall, the Grand Master cupped his hands in greeting toward the Matchmaker and smiled: "Has the Matchmaker been well lately?"
"Quite well, quite well."
The Matchmaker nodded repeatedly. If one didn't know better, they might think this celestial deity of the Celestial Court was naturally hunched over.
"Grand Master, please come inside... shall I do as last time?"
"I must trouble the Matchmaker," Grand Master Xuandu said with a rather warm smile, stepping directly into the Matchmaker Hall and following him to the rear hall.
Once through the door of the rear hall, before them stretched a mystical starry sky.
The Matchmaker held a bonsai beside him and gently shook it. A cluster of starlight flew from the starry sky and hovered before the two of them.
This bonsai was actually a post-celestial Merit spiritual treasure — the Lovesickness Tree.
The starlight faded, revealing five piles of clay figurines. Each pile was of different sizes, and on them were characters formed by starlight, categorizing them.
For example, the leftmost pile had three large characters written above it: Du Xian Men.
The other piles had 'Xiaoyao Immortal Sect,' 'Zizai Men'... they were actually several Dao lineages of the Human Sect.
Grand Master Xuandu sighed softly and smiled: "How many were formed in this millennium?"
The Matchmaker said with his head bowed beside him: "As you instructed, whenever we discovered a marriage potential, we gave it a push. In this millennium, a total of three hundred and sixty-two pairs were matched within these immortal sects."
Grand Master Xuandu nodded gently and said softly: "Hmm, not bad. How many new arrivals have been born?"
"That... you would need to check the registry at the Underworld Bureau. We only handle marriages here."
The Matchmaker chuckled awkwardly. When he smiled, he liked to squint, and his smile was quite warm.
"I actually forgot about this matter. Please don't mind, Matchmaker."
"Sigh, Master truly gave me a difficult task. He wants the Human Sect to prosper moderately, yet won't let me take disciples..."
Grand Master Xuandu sighed with his hands behind his back, his gaze sweeping across. "This is the only recourse. Matchmaker, could you pull out the marriages that are about to form? I'd like to see how many there are."
"Yes, Grand Master. Please wait a moment."
The Matchmaker shook the bonsai in his hand again. Soon, dozens of clay figurines flew forward. The distances between the figurines varied according to the closeness of their relationships and the likelihood of their marriages forming.
Each clay figurine had one or two Red Strings of Fate. Some had three or four, but not too many.
Some had longer strings of affection, so their red strings were longer;
Some had shorter strings of affection, so their red strings were shorter.
Soon, Grand Master Xuandu's gaze was drawn to four clay figurines clustered together. He took two steps forward and examined the four figurines under the characters 'Du Xian Men.'
The Matchmaker smiled beside him: "This is the formation of three stars encircling the moon. What a blessing."
Grand Master Xuandu nodded slightly and stared intently for a while.
The three figurines dressed in long skirts and cloud-like hair ornaments surrounded one figurine with long hair and robes. The red strings of the three figurines were already extending inward, but that central figurine...
Hmm...
Grand Master Xuandu frowned and said: "Why are his so short?"
"This one?"
The Matchmaker leaned forward half a body's length and stared at that male figurine for a moment, then said hastily:
"It is a bit short, but it's still there.
Grand Master, look — there's a bit of red thread on his wrists and ankles. The red string has just begun forming a starting point...
Some people are like this. It must be because this talented individual of the Human Sect is wholly devoted to cultivation and doesn't want to concern himself with worldly matters."
"What a waste," Grand Master Xuandu said, looking at the three red strings floating around the figurine with a smile. "Could the Matchmaker help him extend the red string a bit and connect it to the other three strings?"
"Well, naturally that's possible. But Grand Master, we can only assist — it's not quite right to forcefully change things..."
"Just a natural little nudge in the right direction, so to speak."
"Yes, this humble deity will attend to it immediately."
With that, the Matchmaker lifted the potted Lovesickness Tree and tapped it gently toward the figurine.
At the same time, in the pill chamber on Xiaoqiong Peak of the Du Xian Sect in the Eastern Divine Province.
Having just taken a bath, Li Changshou was fretting over a new pill cauldron when a few rather inappropriate images suddenly surfaced in his mind.
"Hm?"
Li Changshou chuckled softly and instantly banished the images from his mind.
In the rear hall of the Matchmaker Hall, the Lovesickness Tree slowly touched the figurine, which then...
Took a step backward.
"Eh?"
The Matchmaker furrowed his brow, changed direction, and held the little potted Lovesickness Tree to poke at the figurine again.
In the pill chamber on Xiaoqiong Peak, more images surfaced in Li Changshou's mind. They were combinations of his previous and current lives — Little Martial Aunt in a sailor uniform, Little Junior Sister in a school uniform, and also...
Wait, why was he imagining Youdu wearing a mecha suit?
"The Dao heart is solid, but illusions cannot be destroyed!"
The images in his mind instantly shattered. Li Changshou shook his head and continued pondering the matter of the new pill cauldron.
In the Matchmaker Hall, the Lovesickness Tree attacked again, but the figurine lightly twisted to the left.
"Oh, come on!"
The Matchmaker's eyes widened. He grabbed the Lovesickness Tree and changed direction once more, poking at the figurine. This time, the figurine... performed a backflip and nimbly dodged.
"Hahaha!"
Grand Master Xuandu beside him couldn't help but laugh out loud.
The Matchmaker's expression turned somewhat unsightly — he had actually made a fool of himself in front of the Grand Master, and over something so trivial at that!
"Big!"
The Matchmaker touched the Lovesickness Tree, which instantly swelled in size. Branches and leaves reached out to attack the figurine.
On the ground, Li Changshou frowned as a beautiful pill cauldron appeared in his mind. The cauldron opened, and several graceful figures flew toward him...
Li Changshou immediately sat cross-legged and began chanting the Heart-Clearing Incantation;
Seriously, what hadn't he seen in his previous life?
Perhaps after becoming an immortal, his mental state had become unstable, causing him to always think about these things.
What use was temporary pleasure?
First achieve immortality, then consider these matters! That would be true lasting shamelessness!
No, immortality didn't necessarily mean self-preservation... He still shouldn't get entangled in such inconsequential karma as marriage.
Li Changshou whispered sharply: "Quiet!"
In the Matchmaker Hall, the figurine instantly performed a series of reactions.
Retreating...
Dodging...
Flipping...
Leaping side to side...
Thomas Flare...
No matter how the Lovesickness Tree's countless branches lashed at him, not a single leaf could touch him.
The Matchmaker was so anxious he was drenched in sweat, nearly furious enough to disrupt his qi flow;
The Grand Master beside him smiled: "Allow me to assist the Matchmaker."
With that, starlight flickered in his left hand, and his palm held both yin and yang as he reached out toward the figurine from afar.
The Matchmaker's eyes widened, and he was about to shout "Don't!" but it was half a heartbeat too late. The Grand Master had already grasped the figurine's left arm.
But...
Crack!
The figurine's left arm was instantly broken off. Its body nimbly jumped free, and after steadying itself, even struck a "come at me" pose.
The entire scene fell into dead silence.
"Grand Master... you cannot, you must not force it..."
"Cough, this thing — can it be repaired?"
"It can, but it's very time-consuming. Fortunately, there was no red string on his left arm, so it will be somewhat easier to fix..."
"Then I'll trouble the Matchmaker with that.
Well then, Matchmaker, I'll be going. I'll come back in a while and bring you some pills refined by Grand Supreme Elder...
Please pay special attention to this kid. Much appreciated!"
With that, Grand Master Xuandu hastily made a Dao salute, turned, and vanished in two steps, leaving only the Matchmaker standing there in complete disarray.
Moments earlier, in the pill chamber of Du Xian Men.
Li Changshou frowned tightly, his mind a complete mess.
He shook his head helplessly and reached into his robe, pulling out one of his trump cards for calming himself from the No. 6 treasure pouch marked 'Earth.'
A scroll painting, which he opened to take a look. Inside was painted a row of exquisitely rendered, heavily made-up old women dressed in Rainbow Garments...
Li Changshou examined it carefully, murmuring: "True affection is not just about coveting her youthful beauty; it must also embrace her nagging in old age."
Instantly, the images in his mind shattered one by one, bringing a sense of peace.
"But... in cultivation, when do we ever grow old?"
He smiled with satisfaction and carefully stored away this precious "Painting of a Hundred Beauties in Their Twilight Years." His mind immediately became much calmer.
A man should be tough on himself.
By the way, it was one thing to occasionally think about his Junior Sister and Little Martial Aunt, but why did he have to think about Youdu?
Tsk. Toxic.