Chapter 33 — Unbeknownst

Dou Yan, of course, had no idea what Wang Shuying and her sisters-in-law were saying inside the house; she had been dragged off fishing by her father, Dou Huaiying.

In Zhending in the sixth month, the weather was still quite hot, but once the carriage was moving, a breeze came through the bamboo blinds, and it felt quite comfortable.

Father's attendant, Gao Sheng, had been made coachman this time. Driving the carriage, he chatted with Father: "...It was two years ago that I last went fishing with you, sir. The wild kudzu on the mountain was starchy and sweet—I've never eaten its like since. But this isn't the season for it now, I'm afraid we won't get to taste it."

"There's a whole hillside of wild mugwort up there, though," Father said with a smile. "We can pick some on the way back to make mugwort tea or cook mugwort porridge—it clears heat and dampens fire. Not bad at all!"

Dou Yan looked at the carriage, which held only the three of them, and asked in surprise, "Papa, why didn't you bring a few menservants or maids? Then there'd be someone to help with the work!"

Gao Sheng chuckled and went on driving, wholly absorbed.

Father merely stroked her head and said nothing.

As if she had said something wrong.

Dou Yan felt a little uneasy, and then, looking again, how familiar the scenery along the road seemed!

She leaned against the carriage window and peered out.

The dense sorghum fields seemed to stretch without end, dotted here and there with a few small farmhouses; in the distance, oil-green hills rose and fell, and now and then both sides of the road were lined with lush poplars.

This—wasn't this the road to Mother and Father's country estate?

Dou Yan turned her head and looked at Father in astonishment.

Father, thinking she was struck by the view before her, smiled and pointed at the sorghum field. "See those yellow tassels? That's sorghum. In a bit I'll have Gao Sheng go down and take a look—if it's ripe, we'll break off a few ears and take them up the mountain to roast."

Gao Sheng chuckled again.

Dou Chi made no comment either way.

The carriage soon turned onto another road, cut across a field of sorghum, and headed for a small hill.

For no reason she could name, Dou Yan breathed a sigh of relief.

This sorghum field belonged to the Lang family. Grandmother's estate was next to the Langs', and the boundary was marked by a blue stone as tall as a man, carved with a great big "Dou."

Before long the carriage stopped. They got down, Gao Sheng tied up the horse, and, laden with the fishing gear in his hands and on his shoulders, followed behind them.

Skirting an old pine, Dou Yan heard the murmuring of running water.

Her expression turned a little strange.

She knew this place only too well.

This was the little river that ran along the border between the Lang and Dou lands. The water was clear and transparent, the riverbed shallow, the pebbles in it plainly visible. Every June a kind of little silver fish, shaped like a shuttle, would come to the river's edge to feed on the green grass. She and the children from the farm would often roll up their trousers and wade in to net fish.

Across the river was a slope where three wild peach trees grew in a triangle. Every spring, when the weather warmed and the flowers opened, the peach blossoms bloomed, tender and pink, very beautiful. In summer the wild peach trees bore little green peaches, bitter and astringent, not fit to eat at all. At that time of year they would run to the hollow beside the wild peach trees to gather wild greens—pearlweed, okra, wood sorrel, bur clover... In spring they picked the tender leaves for vegetables; in summer they gathered the fruit and sold it to the herbalist's shop in Zhending for a few coppers to help out at home, and it always earned them a word of praise from the grown-ups, and a couple of coppers to buy snacks.

She, of course, had no need to do any of this for snacks, but wherever she went she had two maids trailing after her like little tails. The two would pick wild greens or wild fruit, and she would share it out among her companions; over time, everyone grew fonder and fonder of playing with her.

How did Father know this place too?

Dou Yan's mind was in a tangle. By the time she came back to herself, she was already standing with Father beneath the great locust tree by the stream.

Gao Sheng set up the folding stools under the great locust tree and laid out the cool tea.

Father led Dou Yan to sit down on a folding stool beneath the great locust tree.

Gao Sheng chose a spot where the water grass grew thick, took out a fishing rod, baited the hook, and began to fish.

This was what Father called fishing?

Dou Yan was somewhat tongue-tied.

Father, meanwhile, drank his tea in leisurely fashion and even warned her, "Don't go out into the sun—mind you don't burn your skin."

Dou Yan gazed idly at the green peaches on the far bank.

The wind blew, and the branches rustled; the green peaches swayed with the wind.

Father laughed. "Those peaches are bitter and astringent—you can't eat them. Next spring, I'll have someone go to Zhending Prefecture and buy you Kyoto honey peaches to eat."

He even knew that!

Dou Yan's eyes went wide.

Over there, Gao Sheng had already landed a small fish.

He tossed the little fish into a small bucket and said with a laugh, "At this rate, Seventh Master and Fourth Miss will have fish to eat tonight!"

Father laughed. "Today we're going to mooch a meal at Baoshan's house!"

Gao Sheng said "Oh?" rather oddly, but did not ask more.

Dou Fan had no such scruples. "Why are we going to mooch a meal at the Feng house?"

Father hesitated a moment, then smiled. "Concubine Wang's sisters-in-law have come over. Their family is not what it once was, and they have some connection with Fifth Brother. By rights I ought to entertain them properly, but Concubine Wang is, after all, a concubine, and for me to come out and entertain them would be neither proper nor justified. Once we have had our evening meal at your Uncle Feng's and come home, they ought to have gone back to Nanwa."

No wonder she had come fishing in such heat!

Dou Yan suddenly understood.

Her father smiled. "Come, let us go up the slope and take a look!" With that, he scooped up Dou Ji and climbed to the top of the slope.

From there, Grandmother's estate lay plain before them; Dou Yan could even make out Grandmother, standing in the front courtyard talking with a serving woman.

Dou Yan was astonished.

Was it her imagination, or did Grandmother seem to sense their presence? She kept gazing in their direction.

Dou Yan turned to look.

Her father was staring fixedly at Grandmother's estate, his expression intent.

A buzz filled Dou Yan's head.

So this was how her father had always expressed his longing for Grandmother.

And she had never known!

Father, what other secrets do you keep?

As Dou Yan pondered, her father's murmured words drifted to her ear: "I was nine before I learned that I was not my mother's own child. I only wanted to know—what sort of person gave me birth? I did not wish to wound my mother, and yet, thinking of her alone on this farm all these years, my heart aches..."

She felt a tightness in her chest.

Could that be the reason she had been sent to the farm in her previous life?

That day her father had told Wang Yingzhuang that he needed a legitimate son.

Could that be the reason Dou Xiao existed?

In her previous life, her father had kept only two concubines, yet rarely spent the night in their chambers. She had assumed it was because he favored Wang Shuying. But now it seemed he had been in his prime, and he and Wang Shuying had produced only Dou Ming and Dou Xiao...

She longed to ask her father.

But none of it had happened in this life.

Her mind was a tangled mess.

*****

Gao Shi's mind was a tangled mess as well.