Chapter 434 — How Could a Cooked Duck Fly?

Shen Mu sat to one side and waited quietly, the Flood Dragon King God standing guard beside him. The White Gap Deity's primordial spirit hovered overhead, ready at any moment to activate the Five Thunder Jar, while he himself soaked in the cauldron, gradually feeling the medicinal power invade his wounded leg, nourish flesh and blood, seep into the bone, and moisten the marrow.

"Comfortable."

The White Gap Deity, bored, teased, "Has Sect Master Shen taken a wife?"

"I have."

Shen Mu fetched a sundial and watched the time; its markings were many and very fine. "I have taken a wife twice."

"What a pity. I had planned, once you reached the Upper Realm, to introduce you to a few beauties of my race."

The White Gap Deity laughed. "If you had children, they might be half man, half horse. The very thought is amusing. Hahahaha!"

Shen Mu did not answer, and went on watching the sundial.

The White Gap Deity was plainly in good spirits, and kept up a desultory chatter, breaking now and then into laughter, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

Before anyone noticed, a day and a half had passed. The White Gap Deity's laughter grew louder and louder, and the look he bent on Shen Mu grew steadily less kind.

"Sect Master Shen, let me tell you a joke. Once there was a man boiling a duck. When the duck was cooked and he was about to eat it, the duck suddenly flew away. Hahahaha — why do you not laugh? Let me tell you another joke. That cooked duck flew back and ate the fool! Hahahaha..."

Shen Mu did not stir, and kept his eyes on the sundial.

The White Gap Deity's eyes turned savage. He sneered, "You neither laugh nor speak. Is it that you discriminate against me? You discriminate against me — I will kill you!"

Shen Mu raised his head and smiled. "Time is up. Strike."

Scarcely had the words left his mouth when a tremor ran through the air. Around Fragrant Well Compound five great ghosts with green faces and tusks emerged, spinning like tops — and the Five Thunder Jar vanished into thin air!

The White Gap Deity's primordial spirit reached out at once to seize it, but caught only air; it caught one of the green-faced, tusked ghosts instead, and he roared in fury, thunder shaking the whole of Purple Bauhinia City till it rocked and rumbled!

Behind Shen Mu, the Flood Dragon King God bellowed in rage and revealed his true form, coiling round and round the whole courtyard of Fragrant Well Compound, his dragon head fixed on the White Gap Deity's primordial spirit.

The White Gap Deity crushed that ghost to powder and at once recalled his primordial spirit. The instant it re-entered his body, he felt a wicked qi surge up from his wounded leg, invade every part of his flesh, and prowl between his primordial spirit and his divine storehouse. A chill of dread ran through him, and he hurriedly roused his magic power to suppress it.

"Damnation! Every guard I set, and I never guarded against this!"

The Flood Dragon King God seized the moment and pounced, his body locking the White Gap Deity in a grip that left him unable to move, squeezing until the veins stood out on his forehead.

Shen Mu rose to his feet, drew the Carefree Sword, and cast it on the ground. Smiling, he said, "Senior Brother White Gap, a duck I have cooked never flies away. The sword is yours. You may now cut away the poisoned part. Flood Dragon King God, release him. When I cook a duck, I like the duck to carve itself. Poisoned as you are, Senior Brother White Gap, you can only cut from the neck down — everything below the neck must go."

The Flood Dragon King God hesitated, then released the White Gap Deity.

The White Gap Deity roared, divine might rolling off him in waves, blasting the cauldron of medicine to fragments. He strode toward Shen Mu, killing intent soaring to the sky.

The Flood Dragon King God, frantic with alarm, was about to strike when the White Gap Deity abruptly dispersed his divine might, dropped to one knee, and sighed. "I surrendered once before. What harm is there in surrendering again? I, Bai, am willing to submit."

Shen Mu smiled. "Rest assured, Mount Hundred Years is a fine place, and you are well suited to it. Swear your oath to the Earth Lord. Once the oath is sworn, I will make you the mountain god of Mount Hundred Years, to enjoy offerings."

Half a day later, the White Gap Deity, his face dark, rode wind and cloud to Deer County beside the Surging River. He looked around and frowned: all about Deer County stood hills a hundred or so zhang high, barren mountains and foul waters — where was the ten-thousand-zhang peak of lovely scenery?

The White Gap Deity brought his cloud down and asked a farmer, "Where is Mount Hundred Years?"

"That one there!"

The White Gap Deity looked where the man pointed. Mount Hundred Years was a low mound, wreathed in the qi of death. He said angrily, "That is plainly a potter's field, a place for burying corpses! Why is it called Mount Hundred Years?"

The farmer laughed. "What happens to ordinary folk after a hundred years? They die, of course! So it is called Mount Hundred Years — after a hundred years, you are buried there."

The White Gap Deity was dumbstruck. Puzzled, he said, "Is Mount Hundred Years not ten thousand zhang high?"

"What a horned fool!"

The farmer could not hold back his laughter. "A dead man lying down is no more than a few inches tall. To the dead, is Mount Hundred Years not ten thousand zhang high?"

The White Gap Deity flew into a rage and stormed up Mount Hundred Years, crying furiously, "That wretch Shen has ruined me!"

Suddenly the Surging River beside him split with a roar, and from the water emerged an enormous head, which studied him with curiosity and laughed. "I said to myself, whose is that divine aura? So it is Daoist White Gap. What brings you here too? You said just now that one surnamed Shen ruined you — what is the story?"

"So it is Lord Dragonkeeper!"

The White Gap Deity made haste to salute from the hilltop. "I came to Jingping to bring down the calamity, and I met the master of the Nether Demon Sect..."

"Say no more, I know!"

The giant dragon in the river shook itself and became Lord Dragonkeeper, his face grave. "Is he not a plain, honest-looking fellow, the sort it is easy to bully?"

The White Gap Deity said in astonishment, "How do you know?"

Lord Dragonkeeper stamped his foot. "It is precisely because of his plainness that I became the Dragon Emperor of the Surging River!"