Chapter 168 — The Old Men

The Wasteland, and within it, Hidden Remnant Village.

The Headman, as always, sat slumped in a recliner at the village entrance alongside Master Dan, slowly sipping tea. Suddenly Master Dan turned and said, "Headman, you've been slumped like that for quite a while, haven't you? These past two days you've been slumped like that, and even when the darkness came you didn't stir, didn't go back to your room to sleep, did you? When I got up this morning, there you were, slumped in the same spot."

The Headman, lazy, eyes narrowed: "Master Dan, your heart is disordered. Ever since Shen'er left, your heart has been disordered."

Master Dan sneered: "My heart disordered? It's plainly your heart that's disordered! Look at me — I still wash and comb myself clean every day. You, on the other hand, unkempt and filthy, all but dead in that recliner."

The Headman said: "It was plainly you who carried me out to the village entrance yesterday morning, and then when evening came you forgot to carry me back inside — isn't that your heart being disordered? Something you do every day, and suddenly you forget to do it."

Master Dan laughed in fury: "I forgot to carry you back — can't you walk back yourself? Can't you fly back? What use is that heaven-and-earth-spanning cultivation of yours?"

The Headman was silent a moment, then said gloomily: "You know very well I have no legs. And no hands either..."

Master Dan was driven to madness. This dead old man had been left out in the darkness all last night, and neither the curses nor the monsters of the dark had managed to kill him, and he still had the face to say he had no legs.

He was just about to argue his case when he suddenly raised his head; the Headman too snapped alert at once, more spirited than ever, and said with a smile, "Is it not a joy to have friends come from afar? Daoist friend, you've shed a whole burden."

An old man and a youth were coming up from the lower reaches of the Surging River, arriving outside the village and walking toward it.

The Headman looked at Master Dan and said in a fluster, "Where's your comb? Don't hide it — I know you always carry a comb on you, right there in your breast! Hurry, bring it out. I haven't washed or combed in two days; how can I receive guests like this?"

Master Dan sneered and did not move.

The Headman said with an apologetic smile, "It's my fault — I've been too lazy to move these two days."

Master Dan handed him the comb; the Headman drove it with his primal essence and combed his hair, and at least it was somewhat tidy now.

The young Patriarch and Elder Dianxing walked over, halted, and exchanged greetings. The Headman smiled: "A crippled man cannot return the courtesy; I beg the daoist friend's pardon. Please, sit. Master Dan, tea."

The young Patriarch sat, glanced at Elder Dianxing standing beside him, and smiled: "I am no longer the Holy Sect's Patriarch; there's no need for so much formality. Sit down with us."

Elder Dianxing sat as well, took the bamboo basket from his back, and set it aside.

Master Dan fetched the tea set, boiled a fresh pot of water, dropped in the tea leaves, let it steep a little, and poured for the two of them.

"Master Dan brews it the southern way," the young Patriarch said with a smile.

Master Dan smiled: "I'm from the south, and I've grown used to southern tea. Northern tea is drunk for the way the tender buds rise and fall, sink and float; southern tea has a clear, bright body that shows a man his own heart. Each has its merits."

The young Patriarch smiled: "No wonder you two sit here so often. Headman, I've come to throw myself on your hospitality for a few days — what do you say?"

Before the Headman could answer, Master Dan clapped his hands and laughed: "Good, wonderful! Ever since Shen'er left, this old fellow has nearly bored me to death. Every day he lies there dead-slumped, saying nothing, moving not at all."

The Headman glared at him, then said to the young Patriarch: "You're free of cares now; staying a few days to quiet your mind would be a fine thing."

The young Patriarch said: "I hold you in great admiration, Daoist brother. The Holy Sect Master, having received the nurture of all of you, is truly peerless and extraordinary, and so I've come to seek instruction. The Holy Sect Master was born with an Overlord Body, and he cultivates the Mystic Body Three-Elixir Art — his abilities are truly uncommon. My own experience is shallow; I never knew there was such a thing as an Overlord Body in this world. These few days will be just the time to ask your guidance..."

"Overlord Body!"

The Headman and Master Dan exchanged a look, then suddenly burst out laughing. Both old men were well on in years, yet they laughed with their mouths wide open, laughed until tears and snot ran down together, laughed until they could not catch their breath.

"Overlord Body... hahahaha!"

The Headman laughed so hard he toppled, rolling off the recliner; Master Dan laughed so hard he fell off his own recliner too, pounding the ground with both hands, unable to get up.

The young Patriarch and Elder Dianxing were baffled by the two of them. Elder Dianxing felt a chill in his heart: "How bored must these two be, day in and day out? There's nothing remotely funny, yet they laugh as if they're about to expire. If the Patriarch and I lodge here long, will we end up as mad as this too?"

The Headman settled for a moment, lying on the ground and wheezing. Master Dan pointed at the young Patriarch and laughed: "We fooled even the Demon Sect's Patriarch! Hahahaha!"

The Headman went off into wild laughter again, and Master Dan pounded the ground again.

After a long while, the Headman floated up and settled back into his recliner, his primal essence coiling around the comb to tidy his tangled hair. Master Dan walked a little way off, patted the dust from his clothes, went and washed his face, then fished another small comb from his breast, put himself in order, and only then came back, sat down properly, and said apologetically: "Daoist brothers, only the two of us are left in this village, and we're bored to death every day. Even the Crested Fire Pheasant Dragon has run off and taken up with a male, and hatched a nest of little Crested Fire Pheasant Dragons. It's rare that anyone tells us a joke, so we couldn't help but lose our composure."

The young Patriarch looked behind them and saw a Crested Fire Pheasant Dragon more than a man's height striding about the village with a flock of little ones. The hen flapped her wings and raised a gust of wind.

"So what exactly is this Overlord Body?"

The young Patriarch asked humbly: "I beg you two to spare no instruction. My horizons truly are a little narrow..."

"Say no more."

The Headman held back his laughter: "I'll tell you."

A moment later, the young Patriarch and Elder Dianxing, having learned the truth, were dumbstruck — as if they had been struck by heavenly thunder a hundred times and then trampled by a herd of wild bulls a hundred times. For a long while they could not collect themselves.

The mightiest Overlord Body had turned out to be an ordinary man's body; the mightiest Mystic Body Three-Elixir Art had turned out to be the Essence-Drawing Art, so common that ordinary people used it to keep fit!

And yet Shen Mu had cultivated exactly this art, and believed himself to possess an Overlord Body.

That was not the crux of it. The crux was that Shen Mu, utterly convinced, had used a mortal body and the Essence-Drawing Art to beat the piss out of other people's talents, geniuses, and prodigies — a veritable Overlord Body in the flesh!

The Headman and Master Dan looked at each other, smug. The Headman said quietly: "Look at their faces. Exactly as I imagined."

The young Patriarch let out a breath of turbid air, his expression strange: "So that's how it is, so that's how it is... But the Mystic Body Three-Elixir Art really does have something to it. It's very uncommon."